Get to the Choppah
by HalcyonHermit
Summary: Alfred and friends were just trying to get a little rest and relaxation on a tropical island, but just their luck if they're not soon running for their lives from something hunting them.


Hetalia: Axis Powers is entirely the creation and work of Hidekaz Himaruya.

* * *

"Remind me to ask Tony just how many of those alien movies he pitched to Holly were based off real aliens!" Alfred growled, ducking another blast of honest to goodness laser fire.

"I still have to have a talk with that girl about her 'borrowing' habit!" Arthur spat, swearing hell to pay if he caught another remake of one of his shows.

Alfred had a glance down to Kiku, Kiku looked back up at him in that way that told him the quiet and respectful nation was still holding a grudge over a certain remake staring a Giant Iguana. At least that's what he always thought that's what it looked like, but then again...oh right, real monsters. Ducking another blast of laser fire, he had the nagging feeling he was forgetting something, or was it someone?

"We missing anybody?" Alfred asked, breathing hard but still not even winded.

"Who?" Arthur asked, sounding a little winded.

"It's just us three Alfred-San." Kiku assured.

"Coulda swore..." Alfred muttered.

"So which 'movie' is this one?" Arthur shouted over the sound of a tree being splintered, their path abruptly blocked.

"The first one had Arnie and Jesse in it. Great cast, gotta love Duke in it, I just had to go buy that gun after watching the movie twelve times on the big screen..." Alfred started to get his movie Geek on.

"Alfred! Focus!" Arthur snapped, using his Empire voice.

"But we're not armed." Kiku pointed out the one flaw with their scenario.

"When Holly says 'Based on a True Story' you learn to take the details with a grain of salt." Arthur moaned.

Hearing that characteristic growling out in the foliage, the trio looked for any signs of the monster tracking them through the jungle, the whole ordeal was turning what should have been just a nice little beach getaway for the four of them into Alien Edition Survivor. Wait a tick...

"Okay, I know we're missing someone, role call. The Hero, Here!" Alfred asked, trying to get this matter sorted out.

"Arthur, Pissed Off!" Artie growled.

"Kiku, Hai." Kiku answered.

"That's five." Alfred said counting off on his fingers.

"Three Alfred-San." Kiku corrected.

"Then who are we missing?" Alfred asked, knowing he'd booked four and if there were only three that meant either they were missing someone or he'd been ripped off.

"Then who are we missing?" Alfred's disembodied voice taunted from the foliage.

"Oh shut up!" Alfred shouted at the foliage.

The sound of laughter echoed through the trees, only made more eerie as it was his own cocksure laugh full of his indomitable spirit. Feeling his temper rise at being taunted by some lame alien, he started to stalk towards the brush intent on finding this thing and playing his favourite childhood game of Catch (the Buffalo/not a favourite with Arthur's if he remembered right, he still couldn't figure that one out).

Hefting up a branch, that just happened to still be attached to a large fallen tree, he swung with his considerable might and cleared a large swath of the forest. Listening to the leaves fall and staring at the rent mess, it actually reminded him of that one scene with the gatling gun. Panting away and glaring, a loud noise drew his attention to find both Arthur and Kiku caught under a net that had them pinned to the ground.

"Hey!" Alfred bellowed, racing to his friends.

Still ten paces shy of them, the ground before him erupted in laser fire that had him diving for cover behind a tree. His own laughter was taunting him out in the brush, Alfred darting his gaze from every snap and crack of a branch that might give away the hunters position. He'd fought in more than enough jungles over the years and he wasn't about to let his friends get hurt now, putting all those hard learned skills to use.

Going silent and communicating his plan to his trapped allies with a series of military gestures, they stopped their struggling and tried to quiet their laboured breathing after their moments panic. Creeping through the underbrush in just swim trunks, the laughter had stopped now and the forest took on an air of menace. With every beat of his hammering heart he expected another burst of laser fire as he crawled through the mud and soiled himself in filth.

Taking cover in the hollow of a tree, he peered out looking for any sign of the damn alien while having a look to Artie and Kiku to make sure they were still safe. Suddenly a sense of danger took hold of him, fighting every urge to snap his head for a quick look around as he slowly turned his head. The forest beside him just didn't look right, in fact it looked down right wrong like staring through the haze of heat off hot asphalt.

"The Hero, Here!" Alfred's voice taunted, a snap the only noise heard after as the alien dropped its optical camouflage.

Staring up into the grizzly maw of the extra terrestrial, leave it to Holly to get the details right for how terrifying such a beast could be when you were practically 'just in your knickers' as Artie would say. The flicker of red blinded him for a brief second, the shoulder mounted laser rifle pointed right at his head. Despite all this, Alfred was smiling as he just remembered that thing that had been nagging at him this whole time.

"Hey Bro!" Alfred greeted, staring right past the alien.

"Who?" Arthur's voice played from the little bit of tech on the creatures wrist after it looked behind itself clearly seeing only forest.

"Canada!" Mattie roared, Alfred left to watch a swing that had once won his bro two back to back World Series in baseball.

It was only after both brothers had gotten their friends out of the net that something else had Al worried, walking up to the battered and broken alien. Just like in the movie it was somehow grinning in triumph, alien numbers counting down on the little wrist mounted computer. Yep, he was gonna have to have a talk with Tony and Holly alike about this, right now there was just one thing to do...

"Get to the Choppah!" Al roared, rallying the nations into an impromptu bout of the Olympics working on the most important 100 metre dash of their lives.


End file.
